Today I’ve been kind of reflecting on everything and nothing at the same time. How does that work? When you’re thinking about a million other things in the moment of trying to handle your stressful day job… That’s me. I was not in the moment today. I was totally outside of it.
My ex’s daughter asked me pick her up from school today since class ends at 6. Of course I said yes. Any chance to hang with either of them is enjoyed. I relate because I’m still 20 at heart. I will love me some Justin Bieber until im dead … But anyway not to stray on my reflection.
On my way to get her, I decided to take the scenic route since I had time and drive past my Poppy’s house on the way. I wasn’t really sure what to expect because I still get very sad thinking that his house is no longer in our family and he built it with his own two hands. I drove by very slowly, in the backyard was the swing set we used to swing on with a brand new set next to it, and a family with about four children playing on their trampoline and running around. It was nostalgia and peace. It was me and my cousin’s running around many a family gatherings like we used to. I felt a lump in my throat but also a happy feeling that it’s getting it’s use. Someone else now loves it the way we all once did. Sad but calming in a sense.
Well, then I pull up to one of the buildings to wait for her and of course now I’m in the moment. I’m just watching all of these college students walking to class together , laughing and carrying on, and it takes me back. And I know I’m still very young but I still think, wow these kids have no idea how fast time is going to fly by… I’ve been out of college for over 10 years (aye mind ya business 🙃) . But I still remember it like it was yesterday, they were some of the best times of my life.
So while I may not have been in the moment earlier today at work, it set in later on with some triggers I guess LOL. But I feel like that’s part of us growing into understanding ourselves. We have to let ourselves feel what we need to feel and do what we want because ultimately we’re the only ones that can make ourselves happy. Being in the moment isn’t always easy, but it’s something so easy to forget. Sometimes I guess we need to slow down and look around us before the moment passes us by 😘.
Unapologetically Sam 