It’s been a long time since I’ve written. I’ve been in something of a funk or so I like to call it. When I know I should be doing something but I’m in this fog and time is just passing by like groundhogs day… Then I listen to the self-doubt telling me, no one even wants to read that crap so who cares if you post or not, but to me, deep down I know if I can relate to one person then that matters and I should post because I can’t be the only one that goes through these times. As my mom always said, this too shall pass!
Ups and downs are part of life. I’m not at all ashamed to say that. Sometimes life wins and sometimes I win. This last month I have not felt like I’m winning. These times come up on me where I usually just hermit, but this year I have vowed to myself that I want to grow and do better and not let that side of me take over. So I have tried to stay consistent with my workout programs, and hold myself accountable, which is more than years past. I read something today that said, when you focus on you, you grow. When you focus on shit, shit grows. I think I fear being stagnant and complacent in my person, but this rang in my ears. Just focus on you and what you have control over, refocus those negative thoughts because you know who you are deep down and how amazing and resilient you can be.
I’ve never been one to speak of my faith as I never want to be pushy to others as everyone’s beliefs are valid, but I listen to KLOVE, a Christian radio station. I’ve listened for at least 7 years now… On the weekend I switch to rap š¤£, but I always find my station ends up back tuned to 106.9. The encouragement and positive messages keep me going Monday through Friday if not, beyond that. Listen, when you’ve had a stressful day and you’re on the way home stress crying and a song comes on saying exactly what you need to hear… ” Can’t escape disappointment, can’t avoid the delay, but I don’t have to make feeling down and defeated the place that I stay” sorry y’all but I don’t believe in coincidences… Gods got me!
So needless to say, it’s okay to not be okay, but you gotta fight like hell and remember you’re worthy and capable of more, always. Everyone has their moments. Choose your hard… Every day is a new day to try again.
Thank you for your support as always , love my small community of readers š„°.
Unapologetically Sam 