The façade I created over time was just that, a façade. A way to protect myself from the hurt I so inevitably always assumed and saw coming from my negative ways of thinking. I think we all do it, create fake scenarios in our heads assuming they will happen. Thinking way more into every thing you hear so much that the person you love is cheating on you with their best friend. When we decide something in our head, we either give it truth or let it die.
I don’t know if you’ve ever heard the saying, the world is as we are… Well isn’t that the truth? We see what we want to see, we make everything about ourselves, when really the bigger picture is so much more. We can’t blame the world for seeing things through a lens that we created. But not until much later do we come to learn this.
As we get older we have to learn to heal what hurt us, even if it was caused by our own person. We are responsible for healing our hurt, taking accountability, not placing it on anyone else. Sometimes although we can think that it is everyone else around us, when we zoom in , we can see that we are the problem in some day. All we can do is recognize our faults so that we improve and do better. It takes a deeper understanding, a level of self awareness that some call the 1%.
I used to think too much, create some fake scenario in my head and then take it out on the people I loved, because my brain made me believe it and so I did. I wouldn’t be able to communicate why I was upset, which was most of the time, for absolutely no real reason at all. It crippled me in many ways, personally and professionally. As years have passed and I have been constantly working on this, I hold empathy for myself. I still think too much, but now that I can understand my feelings I know that the emotions I feel are just that, and even better, they are fleeting!
I talk about The Mindset Mentor podcast a lot. There is a reason, I promise. Every single episode of content really resonates . I feel an understanding of the person I am fighting to become and it comes with peace. It comes with knowing today may be lonely, but there’s going to be a day that I meet someone at just the right time and they bring everything I’ve been looking for. I know my time will come and for that I keep my hope. They say no two loves are the same and I would hope not. I hope we grow and evolve throughout our stories.
Happy holidays to you and your families this time of year ❤️ I appreciate each person that reaches out or reads this 🙂.
Unapologetically Sam 